Ask one more question
Asking more follow-up questions makes people like you more. In a 2017 study, Karen Huang and her colleagues at Harvard found that people who asked more questions in conversation, especially follow-up questions, were rated as more likable. In a speed-dating study, people who asked more questions were more likely to get a second date. For business owners, one more question can improve sales calls, team meetings, and client relationships.
If you've ever been on a coaching call with me, you know I ask a lot of questions.
"Tell me more about that."
"What do you mean by intentional?"
"How long do you think that'll actually take?"
Part of that is my job. But part of it is something I learned the hard way: the first answer is rarely the real answer. The real answer usually comes after the second or third question.
What the research found
In 2017, Karen Huang, Michael Yeomans, Alison Wood Brooks, Julia Minson, and Francesca Gino studied how asking questions affects how much people like you.
In online chats between strangers, people who were told to ask more questions were liked more by their partners. The type of question mattered most. Follow-up questions, the ones that build on what the other person just said, had the biggest effect.
They also looked at speed dating. People who asked more questions were more likely to get a second date.
The interesting part? Most people don't realize this. When we're trying to make a good impression, we tend to talk more about ourselves. It's the opposite of what works.
So why do follow-up questions work so well?
A follow-up question proves you were listening. Not waiting for your turn to talk. Actually listening. It says, "What you just said matters enough that I want to know more." That's rare, and people feel it.
Where business owners can use this
On sales calls. Most people pitch too early. Ask one more question about the problem. "What have you already tried?" "What happens if this doesn't get fixed?" The client often sells themselves.
With your team. When someone says a project is "going fine," ask, "What's the trickiest part right now?" That's often where the real problem shows up. Asking good questions is also how you find out what your team won't tell you on their own.
With your boss or a client. If you're not sure what someone wants, don't guess. Ask, "What would make this a win for you?" and then, "Can you say more about that?" It's the fastest way to find the real target.
Easy follow-up questions to keep in your back pocket
"Tell me more about that."
"What do you mean by ___?"
"What happened next?"
"How did that feel?"
"What's the hardest part?"
"What would you do if you could start over?"
What it looks like
A client of mine was frustrated that her discovery calls rarely turned into clients. She'd spend most of the call explaining her services.
I challenged her to switch it up a bit. She committed to asking at least three follow-up questions before saying a word about what she offers.
She told me the calls felt completely different. People opened up more. They told her exactly what they needed, and she could show them how she'd help with that specific thing. Her close rate went up within a month.
If you want a coach who'll ask the follow-up questions that get to what's really going on, let's talk.
Frequently asked questions
Does asking questions make people like you more?
Yes. A 2017 study by Huang and colleagues found that people who asked more questions, especially follow-up questions, were rated as more likable.
What is a follow-up question?
A follow-up question builds on what the other person just said, like "Tell me more about that" or "What happened next?" It shows you were listening.
How can follow-up questions help on sales calls?
Asking more about a prospect's problem before pitching helps you understand what they actually need and helps them feel heard, which makes it easier to show how you can help.
Sources: Huang, K., Yeomans, M., Brooks, A. W., Minson, J., & Gino, F. (2017). It doesn't hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 113(3), 430–452.
