Future you isn't less busy
We overcommit because we expect to have more free time in the future than we have now, and we usually don't. Researchers Gal Zauberman and John Lynch found in 2005 that people consistently believe they'll have more spare time later than they do today, which makes saying yes to future plans feel easy. A simple fix is to ask whether you'd say yes if it were happening next week.
Six weeks ago, someone asked if you'd speak on a panel. It was so far away. Your calendar looked wide open. Of course you said yes. Now it's this Thursday. You have nothing prepared, two client deadlines, and a kid with a fever.
There's a name for this. Researchers sometimes call it the "Yes… Damn!" effect.
What the research says
In 2005, Gal Zauberman and John Lynch studied how people think about their time versus their money in the future.
People understood that they wouldn't suddenly have a lot more money next month. But time was different. People consistently expected to have more free time in the future than they had right now.
So when someone asks for your time a month or two out, it feels cheap. Future you has all this open space. Future you can handle it.
Except future you ends up just as busy as present you. The calendar fills up the way it always does. The free time you were counting on never shows up.
When you're building something, saying yes feels like growth. Yes to the panel. Yes to the collaboration. Yes to the coffee. Yes to helping with the school fundraiser.
Each one seems small. But they all come due eventually, usually in the same week. Then the work that actually grows your business gets squeezed out. Again.
A simple test before you say yes
When someone asks for your time in the future, ask yourself:
"Would I say yes if this were next Tuesday?" If you'd groan at doing it next Tuesday, you'll groan when it gets here. Future Tuesday is going to look a lot like next Tuesday.
If you'd happily do it next week, great. Say yes.
More ways to protect future you
Count the real time. A one-hour panel is really prep, travel, the event, and recovery. Unpack it before you agree.
Look at the actual week. Open your calendar to that exact week and see what's already there. Not the month view. The week.
Give yourself a pause. "Let me check my calendar and get back to you tomorrow" is a complete sentence.
Keep a yes budget. Decide how many extra commitments you'll take on per month. When it's full, it's full.
Plan in buffer. When you sit down to plan your quarter, leave empty space. Something will fill it. Let it be on purpose.
What it looks like
A client of mine had said yes to six different "small" things for one month. Two networking events, a podcast interview, helping a friend with her launch, a school committee, and a workshop she'd agreed to teach.
On their own, none of them were a problem. Together, they ate almost every free hour she had that month.
Now she runs every request through the Tuesday test. She told me she says no about half as often as she expected to. She just says yes to the right things now.
If you want help deciding what deserves your yes, and following through on it, let's talk.
Frequently asked questions
What is the "Yes… Damn!" effect?
It's when you agree to something in the future because you expect to have more free time then, and then regret it when the date arrives. Zauberman and Lynch's research helps explain why.
Why do we think we'll have more time in the future?
Research by Zauberman and Lynch (2005) found people expect more spare time in the future than they have now, even though their schedules usually stay just as full.
How do I stop overcommitting?
Before saying yes, ask whether you'd agree if the commitment were next week. Then check the actual week on your calendar and count all the time involved, including prep and travel.
Sources: Zauberman, G., & Lynch, J. G., Jr. (2005). Resource slack and propensity to discount delayed investments of time versus money. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 134(1), 23–37.
